The Crab that Lives in My House.....

Okay, so for a couple of weeks my mom had vacation and she stayed home and cleaned the house-- that included cleaning my room. I was INFURIATED because when I got home, I found that my dresser was leaning ALL THE WAY to the side. I knew, she knew she did it, because it was THAT obvious and one of the back pieces had fallen off. When I got home, I saw was shocked and put a PEN on top of my dresser and it crashed to the floor (a Target dresser lol). I came downstairs and asked what happened to my dresser and she was so nonchalant about it and said "Oh you can snap it back together....", "Actually no, I can't. It snapped the attaching pieces from when you decided to move my dresser. THIS is why nobody should be touching my stuff!" Again I was met with, "Oh you can snap it back together."

Alright, I left it alone and never brung it up again as pissed as I was. Now, fast forward to last night. I was looking for some comics I bought a while back (while shaking my head at the fact that she managed to rip and bend BRAND NEW textbooks that I planned to sell back)and I noticed my comic books were gone. So I went downstairs to ask what happened to them and she said flatly, "I threw them away". I looked at her with amazement, but settled down as I realized, "Why am I so surprised at what a jerk she can be?" Then she continued, "You managed to bring in the most demonic comics into my home!" Now I read three of the comics, and I will admit that the fronts of two of the covers were very gruesome, but that wasn't what I bought it for, it was actually a good story and one of those cases where they put an interesting cover but the story is not even violent enough to make Rated R), but the rest was an X-man comic, and the new Batwoman comic. In anycase I had it in a bag, and I was thinking "Wow, it's one thing to clean a room, but looking through stuff? That's kind of sociopathic" lol So I shrugged it off and said, "I'm sorry you feel I offended you...." and continued to take out the garbage. She then followed me and said , "That's it?! No sorry or nothing?"

"Um, I just said sorry." *continues to take out garbage*

"Let me explain something to you, you can't bring these type of things in my house..."

"Mom, I already said I'm sorry. I won't bring them in the house. I understand. You act like I'm making excuses, or lying and saying the comics weren't mine. I said they are mine and I am sorry, so..."

"You can't just do anything in MY house--"

I blew my top.

"How is it that you managed to make my dresser look like the Tower of Piza, and then get away with it? You didn't even apologize for it!"

"No I'm not apologizing."

"WHAT?!?!?! You SHOULD apologize! You ruined my dresser! I know it wasn't an expensive dresser, but it is MY dresser! You could have told me when I stepped in the house, that something happened to my dresser and I would have dealt with it. You didn't even do that!"

"*Shrugs* I figured you'd just fix it. Thats why I didn't say anything. Anyway don't try and flip this on me! You know what this isn't working, I want you to find your own place!"

"Oh the good ole' move out routine that you use when someone points out that YOU'RE WRONG for what you've said or did! How is it that I put a PEN on my dresser and it just falls apart?"

"Oh, so YOU broke the dresser...."

"You know what, yeah you're right, its time to move for real this time. You obviously have some real issues, and we probably shouldn't contact each other after I move. You're too much of a mental strain."

SMDH. Who does that?

WTF?!?!?!?!

I knew I wasn't going to make it through the day without some type of arguement. I had two of them. One person made it seem like it was much bigger than what it really was and it left me confused... we finally got past it but I was like "Is this really necessary?", the other person, well honestly it wasn't an argument. I guess this person was annoyed with me, I don't know what I did wrong, but I was gonna video phone them to show them how far I had gotten on their scarf...and then I got my head bitten off... I'm not really used to that, so I'm like blown right now...I just feel sad because it really started off as me meaning well and checking up on their day...they text me about something else, I answered them back... they never answered me back, so I text them "I guess you are busy..." but I saw them online so I IMed because I was dumb excited and was gonna show them how excited I was about the scarf I made them... and then I was bitten... I didnt even know what to say... I just told them that I didnt know what I was doing wrong, and if I was annoying them then sorry and they signed off..... *insert jaw drop here*

I know that I act like things roll off my back but this really bothered me because I was truly and honestly sincere and I didn't know what I did... so I told them I would give them their space... I was embarassed because I don't know what I said or did wrong... I even glanced over the messages....I'm baffled and I'm hurt, and I guess there is nothing else to do at this point...

I'm Feeling Some Kind of Way....

I remember there being a time where I was never worried about anything at all. I mean I have always been a responsible person, very live and let live, and I mind my own business. I've been hurting alot lately. I'm a very sensitive person, and I do wear my heart on my sleeve, and if I feel like the pressure is too much then, well...I tend to shut down. Well I'm shutting down. To be honest, I thought for the most part that this year was gonna start off with a bang and I know it's only been what, 14 days into the New Year, but I've really been feeling down...more depressed than usual.

Anyone who knows me, knows that if you are good to me, I'll be twice as good to you because I respect and value a friendship as much as any other relationship-- friendships are the foundation to just about anything, but yeah... I'm feeling some kind of way about how people think they can just do and say whatever they want to me and I'm not supposed to get hurt by it....today I got home and had to struggle not to cry, but I sucked it up. As tall as I am, and as stern as my face can be, I'm a big softee and I take things to heart! I really don't know what this post is about anymore, I realized that I've been honest with people in telling them that I like jokes like the next person, but it seems like I set myself up for disappointment because people think that I am someone that is a sucker and they can talk sideways to me.
I think I'm hurting because I feel like I am not being heard. I listen to everyone else's problems but I've realized that people only look out for themselves....I can;t be a ruthless person and just tell everybody to screw off, but what I can do is get rid of the toxic people in my life.... the people that hurt me on a daily basis....